We were away at a party last night, my father’s fiancee was celebrating both her finished studies in Social Service and her 40th birthday, and I’m still exhausted.
It was fun, don’t get me wrong, but social functions like this always tire me out. And aside from that, I knew next to no one at the party. There were a couple of people that I have met before and a couple of family members, but the majority were friends of hers and not people I had ever met.
That might sound strange, but there are reasons for this.
Mainly that, I was already an adult and living on my own when my father met her, so I have never lived with them, thus never associating with her friends. I have met her parents and sister on several occasions and really like them, but most of the people she knows are complete strangers to me.
This doesn’t mean that I can’t enjoy myself, in fact, I met several really nice people and had a good time. What it does mean is that the bustle and noise will quickly drain my mental energy and leave me exhausted. It also means that I might leave slightly earlier than I might otherwise because I still need to be alert enough to drive, and I need at least an hour when I get home when I put on my headphones and just listen or write, to re-focus my brain and kickstart the charging of energy before going to bed. I am still likely to need another day to completely re-charge, but getting a headstart helps a lot.
I do occasionally ask myself why I put myself through situations like that, but always come to the same conclusion. Because I need to get out there and socialise from time to time, or I’ll isolate myself completely. Besides, I usually do enjoy myself in the moment, it’s just the aftermath that makes me hesitant.
This is also one of the things that me and my fiance handle very differently. While these kinds of situations tire him out as well, neither of us being very social beings, he has a faster recovery time than me. After leaving a big function like this party, he has no issues talking to just me, or getting home and getting on the computer, chatting away with friends in Discord. I can’t do that. I need to close out everyone, him included, for a while, and can’t muster up the energy to talk to anyone.
For right now, my head is still a muddled mess, but I have a day off tomorrow as well, so it should be fine. I allowed myself to sleep in this morning, and have been doing nothing all day, which goes a long way to get my energy back. I really wish that I could make myself endure more social interactions so that I didn’t deplete my entire reserve at work or after a few hours of interaction. It would also help if I didn’t need a full 24 hours or more to recover. But I don’t really know how to achieve that, so I need to just roll with it for now.
Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful day, and stay crazy!
Luna Sky